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- “Being present for a person who is
living the end of life is a privilege and a life-changing
experience. Sharing this journey teaches us how to live more fully
by being compassionate toward others and ourselves. Many of the
people I love will die before I do. I want to learn all I can to
support them and then to die peacefully myself.”
--Loretta Downs
Loretta Downs has always been drawn to service. At age five, her
first career choice was to be a nurse, like her big sister. Over
time, teaching and volunteering replaced nursing.
In high school she delivered baskets to the poor at Christmas. She
helped the Anti-Cruelty Society of Chicago open a gift shop. Drawn
to the dogs in the Society, she became a pet therapy volunteer,
taking puppies to visit children in hospitals. Throughout her
management career she volunteered on benefit committees and at
fundraisers for a variety of not-for-profit organizations.
In 1995, responding to the health crisis in her industry and the
loss dozens of friends and business associates, she became a
volunteer on the AIDS ward at Illinois Masonic Hospital in Chicago.
There, she began to notice the differences in the quality of the
deaths of patients dying with hospice care and those without.
That experience led her to join Hospice Partners (now Heartland
Hospice) as a patient care volunteer in 2000. There, she has served
as many as four patients at one time in different locations -- at
home and in nursing homes and hospitals. She quickly became active
in training and mentoring volunteers. She joined Seasons Hospice in
2006 to volunteer at their 14-bed in-patient unit at Lincoln Park
Hospital in Chicago.
Following her father’s death in a hospital in 1991, Loretta became a
caregiver to her mother, Anna. The last six years of Anna’s life
were spent in The Fairmont Care Center, a nursing home, during which
Loretta and her mother experienced deep, transformational personal
growth that healed their life-long emotional disability. Their
reconciliation changed their relationship from one of animosity and
shame into mutual respect and unconditional love. This
reconciliation and her experience in caring for hospice patients at
the Fairmont inspired Loretta to create The Chrysalis Room so that
her mother, and other residents who had become family, would have a
dignified, peaceful and loving passage.
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"Dearest Loretta,
Tears are streaming down my face as I read the story of
your mom. I, too, experienced healing peace with my mom
as she suffered from dementia
during her last year. It was not until then that I
really felt her love and care. I truly believe that her
last year was a momentous and exceptional gift from
above. I am blessed to have heard your story and I feel
a bond with you."
--Barbara E. Silvestri, MA |
Anna died peacefully on April 10, 2006, in The Chrysalis Room with
her daughter at her side. Loretta continues to visit her many
friends at The Fairmont Care Center (fairmontcare.com) where she
volunteers as the official Family Guide and co-facilitator of a
family support group. As a special gift and in memory of her mother,
she raises Monarch butterflies in the summer with the residents.
Career
At age 30, Loretta received a hard-earned college degree and landed
her first management job. Thus began a 25-year career in the home
fashion industry in Chicago’s Merchandise Mart. With a talent for
sales, she earned substantial bonuses to invest as a real estate
developer. Retiring from sales in 1998, she eventually opened a
small bed and breakfast, "The Respite." She now works full-time
writing, lecturing and consulting on death and dying, in addition to
her hospice and other volunteer activities.
For over 25 years Loretta has been a
companion to AIDS victims, friends, family, hospice patients, and
nursing home residents through the end of their lives. These
teachers motivated her to retire from a successful career in the
Merchandise Mart to become an inspirational speaker and writer on
the subject of supporting positive experiences at the end of life.
She founded Chrysalis™ End-of-Life Inspirations to advocate for
nursing homes and hospitals to provide private rooms for keeping
vigil with the dying.
She is President of the Chicago End-of-Life Care Coalition, a
Certified End-of-Life Care Practitioner and a Respecting
Choices™ Advance Care Planning Facilitator. She is a member of the
Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center ethics committee, the
Association for Death Education and Counseling, the American Society
on Aging, the Society for the Arts in Health Care, and the Pioneer
Network. She holds a Masters Degree in Gerontology.
Education and Affiliations
Graduate, the prestigious Alaya Institute End-of-Life Care
Practitioner Program (alayainstitute.org) in 2006, which offers a
psycho-spiritual counselor training program for professionals
working in the field of end-of-life.
Roshi Joan Halifax’s “Being With Dying” residential workshop in 2005
(upaya.org).
Member of the Board of Directors, The Chicago End-of-Life Care
Coalition.
Member, The Illinois Coalition for Improving End-of-Life Care
The Association for Death Education and Counseling
International Association for Near Death Studies
The American Society on Aging.
Loretta believes that being present for the dying is her calling. She
believes that death and dying are natural parts of life. She has
observed that when this fact is denied, there is more physical pain and
emotional suffering for everyone involved. The need for education, a
review of medical ethics as related to the end of life, and elimination
of the debilitating denial of death and dying in our culture must be
addressed so we can transform the time for dying into a positive
experience. Ms. Downs is committed to doing that before she herself
dies.
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